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The Gate is not the Journey

We don't sacrifice TO we sacrifice VIA.


The sacrifice is FOR our own journey.


There's a narrative that it's for, or because of, or to someone or something else, but that's just the doorway/access/threshold.


'Don't get stuck worshiping the gate, go through it. It's a portal.'
-Aubrey Marcus quoting Ramdas

The difficulty, the sacrifice, isn't a power held by some Other over us. It's not about them at all, though it's easy as a storytelling animal to say it is.


If the Other, if the Moment is a gate, what is the Before and After? What happens to us as we pass through? What is the journey? (What is the Now?)


A major part of what I'm learning though biodynamic craniosacral therapy is how energy gets stuck (and what happens when it releases).


When we can't integrate an experience, that's trauma. Our system is overwhelmed and energy, rather than flowing freely, is held. It isn't the traumatic event (say, being hit by a car, as Peter Levine describes in his book "In an Unspoken Voice"), it's the interruption of our processing of the experience that is the "problem." It's the unfinished business, the judgement, the lingering emotions that trouble us.


"Emotions are like glue and they keep certain patterns and behaviors stuck in a cycle unless they are cleared. A very good exercise is to tell a story about yourself... in the third person like you are telling a story about someone else. Do this enough times and the charge will become less."
-Lena Stevens, The Power Path

One of the most exciting things I'm learning and experiencing in my biodynamic craniosacral training is that when we unfreeze the muscles, exhale, let go of tension, allow fear and feelings to swell... they surge and release. They don't overpower, they don't destroy. The exhausting task of holding back, of keeping the walls up is what feels like death.


But when the energy is allowed to move, it returns to us as that-- as energy. It is no longer held in the shape of a particular story or muscle or Pandora's box. It is energy. Force. Vitality. Potency.


It is the thing that nourishes us.


The experience is the gate. And gates are meant to be passed through.

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You don't have to fear being "sucked down." What you're feeling is energy flowing past you and through you. You can't be swept away. The current is carrying away the silt of fear and unworthiness and

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