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This is the first year I can remember, ever, when I did not feel angst about the short days, the early darkness. This was the first winter solstice when I wished for more night, when I didn’t want to hurry up the lengthening of the daylight. I felt deeply calm before the turning point, and now I feel how much is coming and will potentially move through me– career and curiosity, love and friendship– I feel all the waiting, all the expanding energy here in the underground seed

What have you locked away? What have you stolen from yourself and hidden so that you wouldn’t long for anything wild, anything unknowable from the safety of the shore? What do you know and what have you always wanted without explanation? It’s there– very close. Waiting for you to breathe air into its lungs. Waiting for you to run into the water and swim down, down, down without worrying about how you’ll get back to the surface. You know what you know. You don’t have to “show

All the old fears gather around the table. Some of them are defiant, daring me to say something. Some only look down, trying the old trick of being invisible by not seeing themselves. There are so many here that I look around– we look around– who is the hostess? Who is the Grown Up, anyway? Silence. Eyes meet across the table. But surely someone… someone must know what’s actually going on here? The right way to do it? The way to be Good, or at least Better? More silence, and

I’m being cozy with myself. Curious, and gentle. Quiet, on this day without work or much for obligations. I dropped my son off at school. (He was wearing a double-breasted coat, gray wool with a brilliant fuscia lining. It was a lost-and-found offering from a friend. I love that he loves it, and that I am able, in spite of all my acculturation, to let it be irrelevant that the coat was designed, tailored, and sold with a female market in mind, not a nearly 12-year-old boy). I

You are the only one– always. Not in sadness or despair, but in strength. In proof of living. In the next step and the next. There is no...

I wanted to believe I’d be married forever, for my whole life, for all the lifetimes to come– because that made it feel like God exists:...

What is the point of a friendship, of any relationship? I walked behind– and sometimes in front of– my dad today on the Cascade, thinking...

This Swedish Pancake recipe was on our fridge (on yellow legal paper) my entire childhood– so that if we had a babysitter Saturday night...

photo by John David Dela-Peri What is Magic? It is fierceness and generosity. It is one hundred children sitting cross-legged on the...